Dream case study - ex boyfriend dreams
CASE STUDY 2
Our dream symbolise our real emotions. But dream are very much in the here and now. Water is often a symbol for emotion and that is no surprise as it constantly changes and moves and flows like our ever changing feelings.
Sometimes we may react to something that happens. That reaction maybe quite extreme and for that moment in time we may see the world in a whole new way. Yet sometimes those emotions will disappear as quickly as they arrive.
This case study captures the changes in moods within the dreamer. It all started when she met her high school boyfriend. This meeting stirred up all kinds of emotions within her. It made her think deeply about herself and her life. She questioned her marriage and was measuring her life against some ideal that was in her mind. But then as soon as it all begun she began to realise that what she had was good and that she should stop all this reflections on emotions and her life in general. She was questioning things which had no right to be questioned.
THE DREAM I was pleased to wake up and remember I had this great dream . I dreamt I had befriended a dolphin. I was riding the dolphin and felt so free. I would hold on to its fin. I trusted it so much. The other part of my dream was that I lost my manager. I was supposed to pick her up somewhere and I forgot to or couldnt find her. I was in such a panic and crying. I was asking people for help in finding her.
THE REALITY On the day of the dream the dreamer bumped into her 5 year high school boyfriend. This was not so unexpected but it got her thinking about him.
DREAM MEANING The dream captures the following feeling within the dreamer - "I kind of expected to see my ex boyfriend on the day of the dream at work. I think this has got me thinking about the golden times from the past". I do not really know quite how to react when I see him"
DREAM INTERPRETATION The dolphin is often a symbol of our subconscious. It shows life within our subconscious and lots of new feelings emerging. A dolphin is generally a positive symbol and links to good positive and uplifting feelings. It symbolises here how the dreamer delves back into her past and remembers the good times(which undoubtedly there were).
The confusion surrounding her boss probably symbolizes how she was unsure how to react to this. She was at this point not in charge of her emotions. She was reacting in an irrational way based largely on sudden emotions swelling up from her subconscious. She was basing her behavior on feelings.
DOLPHIN : "All the good memories stirred up by the prospect of meeting her ex"
MANAGER : "not being in charge of your emotions"
PEOPLE : "feeling nervous in front of her ex and not knowing how to behave appropriately towards someone she once had feelings for"
THE DREAM I dreamt first that my husband and I were at some tropical island. Somehow we had very few things with us, such as our clothes. We approached a mens clothing store and before he entered the store he took off all his clothes and then he covered up his "parts" with his hands and walked in the store. They gave him clothes right away and we walked out. Then we are driving along the ocean shoreline which was very rocky (no sand) and as I looked out in the ocean I saw huge waves 30 feet high. I began to realize it could be another tsunami. We began to drive away really fast. There was no real safe place to go. We somehow ended up going in a basement. We thought we were safe there. Then we saw water slowly dripping in. It was dark, wet, and damp. I remembering saying or thinking "this is it, were going to die"
THE REALITY The day before this dream The dreamer saw her high school ex. She was overcome with "nerves" when she saw him. She could not understand why she was so nervous when she saw him. The dream set off lots of feelings within her and made her reflect on her marriage. She knows that her ex from high school has two children and the dreamer thought about how those kids could have been hers.
The dreamer also has lasting negative feelings about her ex because he was driving a car in which her mother was killed. Although she didnt blame him for her death it was one reason why the relationship was ended.
Her ex was extremely affectionate and she misses that about him. Her own husband is not very affectionate and she has to console herself sometimes.
DREAM MEANING The dream captures the following feeling within the dreamer - "I was really nervous when I saw my ex. It was unusual seeing him. I kind of got reminded of the reasons we split up as he was in an accident that killed my mother"
DREAM INTERPRETATION These dream were coming thick and fast. In such cases its easy to assume that they are connected. This latest dream then is the latest installment and captures the latest feelings within the dreamer.
Beaches are where our feelings(the water) meet the practical realities(the land) in our lives. They represent in this case the feelings about her former high school boyfriend stirred up by the meetings and the thoughts about her husband and the facts about her marriage. The dreamer was reflecting on her husbands lack of affection and comparing it to a past relationship.
Tsunamis are often symbols of overwhelming emotions. They symbolise moments when feelings become mistaken for facts. In this case they represent moments when we look to an idealized past. Yet such feelings are not really based on reality. They are symbolic of rushes of thoughts and feelings which overwhelm us for a short while.
Basements are symbols of negative and hidden feelings. In this case it could symbolise two things. The resentment towards her husband because of his lack of affection. Also it could link to her former boyfriend and the car crash which killed her mother.
BASEMENT : "some hidden resentments towards her husband"
BASEMENT : "bad feelings connected with her mothers death"
BEACH : "having a deep look at our feelings(water) and the facts(land) in our life"
DEATH : "a feeling that her thoughts are changing"
NAKED : "her husbands lack of affection compared to the former boyfriend"
ISLAND : "looking at things largely from an emotional point of view"
TIDAL WAVE : "allowing little feelings to overwhelm us"
THE DREAM I dreamt I was at this massive amusement park that was at some very isolated place. I was there by myself. I was ready to go home, but in order to go you have to take this ride "to get off the island" except it suddenly stopped working. If you tried to go on it you would die. There was hundreds of feet "drop". People starting panicking because this was the "main way" to get home. We were stuck on this island. No way to get help. I became desperate. I began looking for the CEOs and was ready and willing to have sex with them just to be free. Even they were nervous about how to get home. Then I saw my friend Vanessa, and I cried to her in desperation and asked her to help me. She pulled me under her wing. Just as I finished telling her that I would even have sex with the CEO staff in order to get home, a huge freighter ship was passing by. On it was this huge Ferris wheel with big metal rounded seats. When it turned, the seats would smash into the ocean. I mean this thing was massive. It was about 20 feet from the edge of this park into deep deep waters of the ocean. Vanessa gazed at me and then threw her purse around her neck and dived in. Attempting to get on one of the Ferris wheel seats, before another one came down and crashed on her. I was so desperate I did the same and made it. We felt the Ferris wheel pull us up, hundreds of feet in the air and then very quickly you could feel going down (just like on a roller coaster) and I was waiting for the hard smack on the ocean. When we came around again, my two sisters managed to get on. I was so happy and crying uncontrollably. We knew we were safe for that moment but then I wondered where we were going. We saw many freight ships, and some sail boats all at night. We had a delivery and had a stop. It was India. I didnt have my passport. My friend Vanessa got off. I was following her but then decided it was too risky and I could see what the next stop was. I stayed back with my sisters. Then we were at Montego bay. I was so happy because I heard of the place and I know people from my country travel there. Suddenly we were being pulled through the island on a small train. We were each on our own seat except the island was flooding. Then they pulled us through a manure patch, and because of the flooding we were at some points getting shit in our mouth and eyes and sometimes under mucky manure water. I had shit in my mouth. Then I threw up a piece of shit. Then I woke up!
THE REALITY This dream very much marks the high point of the dreamers emotions. Its the mid point. She recognises that she is examining her own emotions and starts to move forward as a result of that process.
DREAM MEANING The dream captures the following feeling within the dreamer - "These dream and thoughts about my ex boyfriend are taking me on a journey. It is all starting to get a bit sordid now. I am maybe experiencing emotions that are a little too wild. Its not as if anything is going on with my ex boyfriend. All I have done is have a few dream about him. I have got to calm my feelings down"
DREAM INTERPRETATION Islands are often symbolic of moments when we are looking at things in a very isolated fashion. The land represents the facts and reality of our life and is surrounded by the sea(symbolising her feelings which ever change and move). So in practice the island represents her thoughts about her high school ex. In many ways these are merely thoughts which are stirring her up. The thoughts about her ex are entirely in her head. Nothing ever happened. Its a matter of just emotions stirred up.
Tidal waves are strong symbols of feelings. They represent moments when our feelings overtake our life. The land represents the facts and reality of existence yet it is swamped by water. That shows how we are starting to see feelings as facts. The dreamers thoughts had been stirred by her own soul searching and the meeting with her high school ex. Yet this was entirely in her head.
Here she meets up with her friend. Friends are people whom we talk with and express an opinion. Friends in dream often symbolise moments when we are discussing what actually is our ideal situation. What is our best move forward. So here the dreamer is starting to see that she is stuck in her feelings and needs to make a decision about whats best for her.
She also meets up with her sisters. Sisters are symbols of the types of feelings that we share with sisters. Sisters talk openly and honestly and examine every last portion of our emotions. So here they symbolise moments when the dreamer talks openly and honestly with herself and starts to explore a new way of thinking.
India is a symbol of spiritual enlightenment and reflection. But she has not got the passport to get in there. That shows that she is not able at the moment to enlighten herself. The meditation and reflection is not working. The emotions have been stirred but she does not feel that sense of harmony.
In the end she goes to montego bay. That is a place that people from her country go to. So it represents a state of mind she feels more familiar with. So this represents the wish to be happier and more contented. Montego bay is a pleasant ideal setting but its not associated with deep thinking and enlightenment. So that's what she wants. She wants to just settle down to a peaceful and tranquil existence. Just stop the endless self examinations which just sap her energy.
The dream starts off in an amusement park. Often amusements symbolise a feeling that something that was fun has now descended into something quite sordid. That perfectly matches her own situation. She started an enlightened self examination and ended up being drawn into an endless and repetitive cycle of reflection. It was not having any positive results. Now she needed to settle down and return to normal.
The dream ends with manure in the dreamers mouth. The mouth symbolises things said. It symbolises here the way she is saying things that are not good. She is maybe expressing emotions about her husband that are not deserved. She has examined her emotions and ended up stirring things up for no good reason. This was not ideal for her and she was maybe even starting to recognise this.
AMUSEMENTS PARK: "the process of emotional examination was amusing and interesting at first but now seems to be getting more sordid and scarey"
FRIEND : "an ideal situation - looking at what actually is best for you"
INDIA : "wishing for spiritual enlightenment and deep thinking about your life"
MONETGO BAY : "A happy stress free environment without any deep spiritual thinking"
PASSPORT : "an inability to enter a mood of enlightenment (India)"
SISTERS : "exploring emotional feelings and opening yourself to new thoughts"
TIDAL WAVE : "being overwhelmed by our feelings"
TWO SISTERS : "mixed feelings and an acceptance that reflection is not doing her any good"
THE DREAM I dreamt last night that I was about to get married to my husband. Of course we are already married. I remember putting on my dress and wearing it, and everyone waiting for me, including my mom (who is deceased).Even the church had scheduled me in and was waiting for my arrival. Finally I remembered that I was already married and became annoyed with their impatience. I exclaimed "Im already married. Im not doing it again. I hated it!" I realized no invitations were sent and nothing was done. Then we are at some diner waiting to be served some sodas(in real life the dreamer met her husband in a diner). The guy is taking forever. I am getting really annoyed. Then I see him drop his keys in the drink, pull them out and hand me the drink. I hollered at him and the manager and told them that I was calling the Health Department on them. Suddenly they were so friendly and accommodating but we (my mom and ???)left because I was too mad. Then I was hustling down a dark busy wet road in an unknown place with my mom and other people?? in my wedding dress.
THE REALITY The dreamer had realised that a surge in her subconscious feelings caused by meeting her ex boyfriend had really disturbed her emotions. She had set off a process of reflection and deep examination in her life. Yet in many ways she was questioning something which was perfectly healthy - maybe not perfect but it was certainly not riddled with problems. She was measuring her marriage against a high school relationship and an idealized picture of perfection. Now she realised this she was wanting to end the process. She wanted things to settle down again.
DREAM MEANING The dream captures the following feeling within the dreamer - "I have got to settle my emotions down. I am upsetting myself for no good reason. I am questioning a marriage that is perfectly good. The dream are feeding this as well. I just want to get back to normal"
DREAM INTERPRETATION This dream marks the end of the process of reflection. In the dream she gets married. Yet she is already married in real life. Perhaps this shows how the dreamer was examining her life in great detail and perhaps embarking on a process of reaffirming her wedding vows. Of looking again and committing herself afresh to her marriage. Yet she realises that this process is itself unnecessary. Its just upsetting her and causing mood swings. So that's why she walks away in the end. She does not want to reaffirm those vows because that's a big emotional deal. She wants to merely get on with life. In fact if you reaffirm wedding vows in this way it shows and proves that you are questioning them. The question is being examined in great detail. But the dreamer just really wants to get on with life.
The guy in this case is a very strange symbol. He actually symbolizes the dreamers emotions. Normally women are symbols of emotions in dream . Yet here the guy takes forever and is annoying her. This is a symbol of the whole process of self examination taking forever. This is often a healthy thing but here its upset the dreamer and unbalanced her emotions. Guys often symbolize male emotions. Here they symbolise the aggressive emotional searching within the dreamer. Its all too time consuming and exhausting. That's why the dreamer reports the incident to the health authority. She is seeing how this is not good practice within her life - a brutal self examination questioning her life and marriage.
Often mothers are symbols of a sensible emotional course. They very often link to a need for closure. They are here to say "this has to end".
But in this dream the mother maybe symbolises herself . She died in a car crash driven by her ex-boyfriend. She knows that a relationship with her ex could never work because of this.
Symbolic Meanings(in this dream )
DRINK : "a mood within the dreamer"
HEALTH DEPARTMENT : "This is not improving the health of my own emotions"
MAN : "an annoying amount of time being wasted on emotions and soul searching"
WEDDING DRESS : "wishing to reaffirm and commit yourself afresh to your marriage"
OVERALL : Overall the dream capture the dreamers changing moods over a few days. At first this is a deeply interesting and enlightening phase of self examination. She has brought up and examined her life. She is looking at whats best. Sometimes this is healthy and sometimes if it goes on to long we need to end the process and settle down. That's what happened with the dreamer. She felt drawn into something that was at first exciting and deep. Everything was up for grabs. We look openly and honestly and then we need to come to a decision. Then we need to settle down. The first dream helps the dreamer relive her teenage love. The memories come flooding back. The second dream examines her husbands lack of affection. The third dream is about some deep reflections on what is best. By the fourth dream she is moving forward and deciding not to think about her ex. The fourth dream therefore represents closure.
Of course some mistakes will be made with symbolism but all you can do is look for evidence to support these changing emotions. You can never know truly what symbols mean only make suggestions. The dream do link to the up to date nature of our emotions. That's why it is helpful to see a series of dream . They capture the movements in emotions. The dream therefore focuses on what is new. If you are in touch with your emotions you will spot the kind of things that dream deal with. You will spot the new feelings emerging and recognise what is in effect the minds latest take on a pressing issue. The dream will almost certainly represent those new feelings as they emerge. dream then are about NEW feelings. They are like a NEWS REPORT which takes a snapshot of our current emotional mindset.